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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23569279">Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopathic_Nerd54/pseuds/Psychopathic_Nerd54'>Psychopathic_Nerd54</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One Shots [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dem Salty Bois - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crying, Depression, Loneliness, Love Confessions, M/M, Pat Loves Gar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:00:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23569279</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psychopathic_Nerd54/pseuds/Psychopathic_Nerd54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gar feels alone. Pat is there to show him he's not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Garuku | Garuku Bluemoon/PatrckStatic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Dem Salty Bois (and friends) One Shots [14]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/929742</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gar felt empty.</p>
<p>Pathetic.</p>
<p>Nothing could have stopped the demons from wreaking havoc in his brain.</p>
<p>The demons telling him he's nothing.</p>
<p>That he's worthless.</p>
<p>That he's nothing but a waste of space.</p>
<p>Air.</p>
<p>Time.</p>
<p>No one deserved to suffer from his presence.</p>
<p>But overall, Gar just felt alone.</p>
<p>He knew he had friends who cared about him. He knew people loved him. He just couldn't understand why. He was nothing special, nothing anyone could get excited over. He was just Gar.</p>
<p>The demons were there constantly, but at times they were so bad that Gar couldn't even talk to people. Those were the times he would just lock himself in his room and just watch other people's videos on YouTube or scroll through twitter or Instagram and just ignore Wade, Patrck, and JP when they would text him and ask why he was late for their recording session. Usually he would respond to them with a quick bullshit excuse to ease their conscience.</p>
<p>But this time was different. This time, he still sent some bullshit excuse. But this time, only two out of the three bought it. Patrck wasn't convinced.</p>
<p>The excuse Gar used was that he got food poisoning and couldn't record due to being practically refined to the bathroom. Wade and JP both sent quick messages back saying "hope you feel better soon!" Patrck never responded over text.</p>
<p>In fact, instead of answering back with a text, Gar's phone started ringing a few minutes later. The man jumped at the sound. He wasn't expecting anyone to call him and he sure as hell didn't feel like talking to anyone.</p>
<p>Gar just let the phone ring and ring until it went to voicemail. He was expecting the person to just hang up. He was expecting them to just assume he was busy and go away.</p>
<p>But no, a few minutes after it stopped ringing, a new voicemail came in and the ringing started up again.</p>
<p>And then two voicemails were there.</p>
<p>And then three.</p>
<p>And then four.</p>
<p>And then the ringing stopped all together.</p>
<p>Gar just assumed the person gave up on trying to reach him, but he was still curious as to who was trying so badly.</p>
<p>One by one, he listened to the voicemails. Gar listened as Patrck's worried voice wafted through the phone. Gar's heart broke as he listened, knowing he didn't deserve his worry, knowing that Patrck would soon give up on him and he would really be alone.</p>
<p>Knowing that Patrck would leave him just like everyone else.</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>First </b>
  </span>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Voicemail</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Hey Gar. I just wanted to check up on you. I'm worried about you. I know the others bought that food poisoning bullshit but I can tell there's something else going on. Please answer, or at least call me back, I'm worried.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Second Voicemail</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Gar, please answer your phone. What's really going on with you? You miss recording sessions every now and again with some excuse that we both know is a lie. I just let it slide before but I need to know that whatever's going on, you're okay. Just: please answer.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Third Voicemail</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Gar, answer your fucking phone! Are you okay?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <span class="u">
    <b>Fourth Voicemail</b>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Okay Gar fine, don't answer. I'm coming down there. You better answer the fucking door when I get there or I'm breaking it down. I'll see you in a few hours.</em>
</p>
<p>And then the line went dead, leaving Gar to mentally freak out. He couldn't let Patrck know what was really going on, he just couldn't. If Gar let him in, he would scare him off and he would really be as alone as he feels.</p>
<p>As Gar just laid there in his bed, he closed his eyes, just letting his thoughts consume him. Just letting the emptiness take over. Part of himself enjoyed the pain he felt, making him not want to recover. But another part of him knew that if he didn't recover, it could kill him.</p>
<p>Tears slowly fell down his face as he laid there. At first, he didn't realize they were there. But once he did realize it, he couldn't stop them from taking over, he couldn't stop the silent sobs that wracked his body, that only got louder and louder the longer they controlled him.</p>
<p>Gar didn't even realize how much time was passing as he cried to himself. If someone were to ask, he would have said ten minutes. But apparently it was long enough for Patrck to drive all the way to his place because the next thing Gar knew, there was a wild knocking on his door.</p>
<p>"Gar? Let me in! Don't make me break this door down!"</p>
<p>Gar took a few deep breaths to try to control his sobbing. It didn't work nearly as well he had hoped. He was back to quiet whimpering.</p>
<p>The knocking hadn't let up at all, Gar knew he was going to have to open it at some point.</p>
<p>The man crawled himself out of bed, making his way towards the door, holding his breath along the way to keep from whimpering. He felt completely dead inside as he went and apparently it showed because as soon as he opened the door, Patrck let out a gasp and tackled Gar in a hug.</p>
<p>"What's wrong, Gar?" Patrck asked quietly, pulling away from the hug and looking the other in the eyes, studying him.</p>
<p>Gar put on the best fake smile he could, which probably looked more like a grimace in his state. "I'm fine." He lied blatantly. Patrck narrowed his eyes at him.</p>
<p>"You're lying." Patrck pointed out easily. The man invited himself into Gar's place, closing the door behind him. "I'm not leaving until you talk to me."</p>
<p>Gar's face fell again. He didn't want to talk to Pat, he couldn't. He had to get away before he was forced to.</p>
<p>Gar turned and ran without a moments hesitation, locking himself in the bathroom once he got there. He could hear Patrck run after him, yelling his name, but Gar was just slightly faster. The bathroom was closed and locked before Patrck could get to it.</p>
<p>"Gar! Come on, talk to me!" Patrck yelled after him.</p>
<p>Gar backed as far away from the door as he could, sliding down the wall once he got there. Gar hugged his knees to his chest, burying his face in them to muffle any more crying that may happen.</p>
<p>"Go away!" Gar screamed at Patrck, voice cracking and muffled.</p>
<p>For a moment, Gar thought he listened, the knocking stopped and he heard a sigh coming from the other side. But then Patrck spoke. It was quiet, but Gar still heard it.</p>
<p>"Gar, I know I can't force you to talk. I know you probably don't want me here. But whatever's going on, keeping it bottled up will only make it worse. And yes, I know you technically can talk to Dante about it but you can't turn to your dog for everything. Eventually, you're going to need to talk to someone else. I want you to know I'm here for you when you need me. I'll stay all week if you need me to, just don't shut me away."</p>
<p>Gar didn't respond, he just sat there quietly, waiting for the other to leave. Eventually, he heard a sigh before footsteps walking away from the door. And with that, Gar broke down once more. He was aware Patrck could probably hear him but he no longer cared. Gar knew he was right but he didn't want to face talking to anyone. Well, not yet, at least.</p>
<p>~~~<br/><b>A FEW HOURS LATER</b></p>
<p>Gar had calmed down a considerable amount at this point. He knew Patrck was still there, waiting for him. He knew he didn't deserve it, yet it was still happening. Patrck was still waiting for him patiently, probably consumed with worry.</p>
<p>Gar pulled himself off the floor, heading towards the door and opening it. He set off to look for Patrck, ready to talk as he'll ever be, which was still not at all.</p>
<p>It didn't take long to find Patrck: the man was waiting for him on his couch, a defeated look on his face as he scrolled through his phone quietly. Gar went over slowly and took a seat next to the man, who turned off his phone and put it away.</p>
<p>Neither spoke for a long time. Gar just sat there, cursing himself as Patrck just waited patiently for Gar to say something. Eventually, Pat realized that wasn't going to happen, though.</p>
<p>Patrck turned his body to look at the broken man next to him. His worried eyes bore into Gar like a knife and he hated it. Patrck spoke quietly.</p>
<p>"Are you ready to talk to me?" Gar let out a sigh, nodding slowly. "What's wrong?"</p>
<p>Gar took a deep breath, closing his eyes. He remained quiet for a few more minutes before speaking. His voice was raspy and dry from crying.</p>
<p>"Patrck.." Gar started. He opened his eyes once more, looking directly at the other. "Don't leave me." The desperation Gar felt must have mirrored in his expression because it didn't take but a second for Patrck to grab Gar to his chest in a bone crushing hug. Gar was done crying. He just let Pat hug him with no response.</p>
<p>Patrck pulled away after a while with the most intense look Gar had ever seen on his face. Patrck was still gripping his shoulders as he spoke.</p>
<p>"Never."</p>
<p>Gar almost couldn't help but believe what Patrck said, he almost felt like he could. But his brain knew better than to actually believe in what's being said. Everyone leaves eventually, especially the ones who promise never to.</p>
<p>Patrck let out another sigh. "Why don't you tell me what's going on."</p>
<p>Gar turned away from Patrck once more, knocking his hands away.</p>
<p>"I-I don't really know how to explain it. I guess you can say that my mind is just betraying me." Gar paused, shaking his head. "I just feel so alone all the time. You, JP, and Wade, I know you guys care about me, I just don't feel like I deserve any of it. I'm nothing important, nothing special. No one would miss me if I was gone. So why does anyone even care? Why do you even care about me, Patrck?"</p>
<p>The two were quiet for a moment. Gar was scared that this was it, that Patrck was about to leave him. That he was about to just stand and walk away, never to talk to him again.</p>
<p>"Gar." Patrck finally said slowly. "Look at me." Gar complied to his request. The look on Patrck's face was the most heartbroken look Gar had ever seen in his life. Gar held his breath as he waited for what Patrck had to say, expecting to be kicked down even further than he already was.</p>
<p>"Gar, don't you dare think you don't deserve to be cared for. You deserve every little bit of love you get. You are so much more than you think you are. So many people look up to you, love you. I love you." Gar was taken aback by Patrck's words. Could he really love him? Could Patrck really love someone as broken as he was?</p>
<p>"You don't mean that." Gar accused. "How could you love me when I can't even find it in me to love myself?"</p>
<p>The response Gar got was less spoken and more physical. Patrck leaned over and captured Gar's lips in his own.</p>
<p>Patrck put everything he had into the kiss, Gar could practically feel every single emotion going through the other. It was overwhelming: going from nothing to everything in the span of a second. Gar didn't know how to handle it all. He didn't know how to feel about it. He just knew that there was no way Pat was actually lying to him after that kiss. He just felt bad that Patrck was wasting his time loving him, of all people.</p>
<p>Patrck pulled away, tears falling silently down his face. "You can question me all you want, you can tell me I'm the worst person alive. But don't you dare question how I feel about you. You are worth everything to me, everything and more. Do you understand that?" Patrck wiped away his tears. Gar just nodded silently at the question. "I will help you through this, Gar. I can help you fight your demons. You just need to let me in. Stop shutting me out, Gar. That's all I ask of you."</p>
<p>Gar didn't understand fully how Patrck could care for him so much. He didn't understand how it was even possible. What he did understand was that he needed Patrck to stay. He didn't think he could handle it if he left.</p>
<p>"Stay with me?" Gar asked quietly, desperately.</p>
<p>Patrck pulled Gar in for another hug. "I'm not going anywhere."</p>
<p>And this time, Gar actually believed it.</p>
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